Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Umbrella...

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So the other day I realized that I haven't really posted a lot about our experience with the 'Umbrella' know the one they've labeled Autism that so many children fall under.  Part of the reason I started this blog was to share how we deal with it and while posting about all that we do is sharing however, some of you might need just a little bit more than the fun things we might want the nitty gritty of how we do a lot of stuff.

First, I'm flexible.  Which to some parents sounds odd because I know that one of the first things you're told to do as a parent of a child under the umbrella is to schedule.  However, life is not nor will it ever be completely fail proof.  Things come up, kids get sick and life happens.  To repeat a much quoted phrase "We make plans and God laughs."  We do have some things scheduled and a routine for things, many of the things Lincoln does he does in a specific order however, we all don't follow his routine because we're different.

I used to feel bad that I wasn't a schedule girl because if I was I'd be a better mom to Lincoln.  I'd be able to have my schedule, my routine and he'd be happy, well-behaved and know everything would be easier.  It took me a long time to realize that God gave Lincoln to me.  HE gave me Lincoln not because I was wicked with a day planner but because I wasn't.  God knew that what Lincoln needed wasn't order but ordered chaos because that is what life is really like and Lincoln is suppose to fit in, in his own way.

Truthfully I'm a better mom because I am flexible.  I don't get flustered when he suddenly starts jumping or waving his hands.  I go with it, I realize that something has gotten his attention and he is trying to share it with me in Lincoln's own special way.  And yes sometimes I join in and jump and wave my hands with him...just because it's fun (really, try it sometime).

Now don't misread this, just because I'm flexible doesn't me I don't fray...I just don't break (that often at least).  We have our moments, our days, sometimes even our hours when life is just plain awful.  You know the moments when it's all I can do just to stay afloat and not go completely crazy.  When it's 8 AM and I've locked myself in the bedroom laying prostrate on the floor crying out to the Lord to take me HOME NOW!  Yet I know that even parents with normal need children have those moments so really I'm not any different either.  I know that every day children with or without their umbrella's throw temper tantrums at the store and embarrass their mom's and dad's so much that even the saintliest of parents wonder what they were thinking when they said they wanted to have children.

Now, we're lucky to be on the higher end of the spectrum umbrella Asperger's.  I count my blessings in knowing that yes Lincoln will most likely get married, have a steady job and bless me with grandchildren.  It might take him longer than some to get there but at least I know that is a reasonable expectation on my part.  If he doesn't get married or have children of his own I know that will be a choice on his part and not on his inability to do so.

I understand that not all parent's with children carrying umbrellas will be able to get away with be flexible and that is okay.  God gives children to parents not just for the parents sake but for the child's.  Parenting is hard but I have found that my strength's are sometimes just what is needed for a child's weakness.  And my weaknesses are sometimes strengthened by my child's strengths.  God is amazing and gives to HIS children accordingly.

So for those of you with umbrellas remember God Loves You and trusts you enough with a little one to care for.  I know we sometimes wish God didn't trust us so much, but still He does.  Also, every parent has and will struggle with decisions and feelings of inadequacies.  This is right because we aren't to do this alone, we are to do this with GOD by our side.  He is Lord Almighty and will take our feeble attempts and turn them into a glorifying display to HIS wonder and power.

On the bad days I remind myself that my God is the same God who led over 6 million men women and children across the Red Sea while Pharoh and his army was chasing them.  My God is the same God who sent His one and only son to die for me.  And that My God is powerful enough that not even death could hold him down and three days later He rose again.  This day is just a stepping stone to the great family reunion in which I hope to see lots of umbrellas...because then I'll truly know how I was never alone!

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Hope your day is most blessed!

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