Wildflower Wednesday

On a bright summer day a young girl went for a walk to look for some wildflowers for her Mum's kitchen.  Mum hadn't been feeling well lately and the young girl thought some flowers would cheer her up.  She passed by Farmer O'Neal's pasture and saw these lovely purple flowers and thought they would do nicely for Mum.  

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There were also lovely little mums all over and she plucked those too.  However, the walk had been rather long so she sat under the great tree to rest and make a few flower chains with the flowers.  Flower chains were sure to cheer Mum up.

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Yet as the day grew warmer the young girl grew tired and her eyes began to droop.  The world took on an antique hue and the sky appeared to be filled with flower shaped clouds and the flowers that surrounded her were suddenly taller than she.

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Standing up, the flower chain and bouquet forgotten, the young girl raced to return home for nothing looked the same.  What had been Farmer O'Neal's pasture was now a meadow and where sheep grazed now aged wooden folding chairs stood.  People in their Sunday Frippery filled those chairs as gentle music played from the string quartet that sat where the barn used to be.


The young girl was frightened at the change and yet drawn to The People just the same.  As she drew in closer to them she told herself she would only ask for directions to her home, she needed to return home to Mum.  Suddenly one of The People grabbed her, speaking softly that the ceremony was to begin and she must take her place.


No sooner had she seated herself than a beautiful woman who looked much like her Mum, only much younger, dressed in a gown of white began to walk down the aisle.  It was then that the young girl realized she was at a wedding.  She strained in her seat to see the groom but could not quite make out his face, for he was standing at a great distance from her.


As suddenly as The People had arrived they vanished , the quiet music still ringing in her ears and all that remained of her vision was a bouquet of wildflowers on a dark antique chair.

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The young girl pressed on, Mum would soon realize her absence and would worry.  The sun had now shifted in the sky and late afternoon was upon her.  Yet strangely, as if in a dream, the world around her became bigger or she became smaller she was not sure which.  First it was the trees that no longer looked like trees but grew to the height of mountains.  Grass that had crunched under her feet now was her height, flowers loomed overhead like trees.  


What was this place?  The young girl saw nary a bug but noticed the intricacies of each blade of grass, of the stems of the flowers and the water droplets.  In awe of the great details she saw the young girl stopped, remembering her little sketch pad she kept in her pocket.  She sat and drew in great detail the veins of each blade of grass, the way nutrients of the flowers glittered up the stem to the flower and how the petals of the flower vibrated with each drink the roots took in.


Exhausted from such a task the young girl laid down to rest among the flowers.

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When she awoke she noticed the flowers were of appropriate size but that the sun was now dipping lower in the sky quickly rising to her feet the young girl began walking again hoping to find some sign of where she was, how to get home.  Mum was sure to be worried something fierce about her absence, she had been gone all day.  As the young girl wandered, she noticed that the field began to cede and and a forest began.  Tall evergreen trees stretched tall to the sky, like soldiers on watch over the life of the forest floor.  


Pressing on into the forest the sun's evening rays glimmering in between the trees.  A clearing diverged and the young girl took it and the sight she saw took her breath away.  A cloud capped mountain and the suns lowering rays shining on the valley below showing the trail of a small river.  She sat down upon a fallen tree and simply soaked in the sight.

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Eyes closed she listened to the soft sounds of the end of day.  Birds bustling to settle their chicks, crickets beginning their evening chant.  The soothing sounds turned into vibrations.  Not vibrations, no she was being shaken.  Slowly her eyes opened and before her stood Farmer O'Neal a smile on his weathered faced.  


Standing up the young girl realized she had fallen asleep under the great tree just past Farmer O'Neal's pasture.  The bouquet of wildflowers still in her hands she quickly waved her goodbye to the farmer and ran home.  She not only had beautiful flowers for Mum but a story to share as well.


I hope you enjoyed this short story.  I know it has been a while since I've posted anything here, it is a season for sure.  Life as a mother can be hard and sometimes there are moments when we just don't understand why we're feeling as we do.  That is where I am today, where I'll probably be for a few more days.  At times like these I find it extremely therapeutic to write, many things I write I don't share but today I set out to post a few lovely photos but when it came to writing a snippet about each picture a story came out instead.  Please pay no mind to improper grammar or change in voice, it is but a first draft but as with most things related to therapy it needs no perfecting for it is what it is.  My prayer is that it brightens your day as it has already brightened mine.


Buffy 

An Encouraging Word

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One of the greatest things that you can do to encourage or lift up a friend that is suffering whether from a long term illness such as endometriosis or just a friend having a hard day is to write a note.  So often I think people don't realize how incredibly uplifting it is to get a card, note, text, or email can be to someone having a really bad day.  Especially if it you're on the 7th bad day in a row!

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While a homemade card is alway lovely, but don't let your lack of cards prevent you from reaching out.  If all you have is email then email, if you only have time to text then text because I guarantee that just the recepient will be grateful!  I know that when I'm having a really hard time I go back and read the cards/letters/emails that I've recieved from friends and they really lift my spirits and make the day that much easier to get through.

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I suppose the next thing that prevents us from writing notes to our friends is not knowing what to write.  However, what to write is really the easy part as it doesn't take much time or need to be eloquent and in our very best penmanship, perfection isn't the point the time we've taken and the words we have to say are.  Here are a few ideas...

     *write about what you admire/respect most about them
     *text an encouraging/inspiring quote/Bible verse
     *write about a good thing you've witnessed about their children
     *remind them about the good character traits they are instilling in their children
     *write about how they inspire you

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A good rule of thumb is to write what you would want to hear when you're having a bad day.  When I'm having a bad day or am really sick I need to hear how I'm not damaging my children permanently by letting them watch Cars 2 twice in one day or perpetually kicking them outside so that I can have some quiet time.  I want to hear that the messy house won't always be messy, that a few bad weeks isn't going to put me on the next episode of Hoarders. 

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I can't tell you how wonderful it is to know that just a few words spoken in kindness and truth can help you as well.  On my bad days I will spend time writing notes to people because making someone else feel better makes me feel better.

Do you have any tips for writing a great note?  Leave in the comments below.  Have you been blessed by a simple note from a friend, or a well timed text?  Share that below as well, we all need to be reminded how the simple things in life truly are the best things.

So I Observed Lent...

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I didn't blog about this earlier partly because I was so busy, though mostly because it was an extremely personal decision and I wanted to see it to the end before broadcasting it to the world.  However on February 22, 2012 I gave up almost all refined sugar for Lent.  Almost meaning I allowed natural sugars (fruit, honey), ate bread with sugar if it was pre-made (if I made it, it was sugar free), I also allow yogurt and organic cane juice.  I also allowed Sunday's to be a day a celebration and if I was offered sugar I didn't refuse... incidentally only 2 Sunday's were opportunities to imbibe in sugar.

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What I learned is:

1) I have amazing self-control when I place God in control of my appetite
2) Creativity in the kitchen.  Stevia, true stevia not Truvia, is wonderful and actually too sweet for me but great for making pudding.
3) I have a fabulous husband who made me a chocolate sauce from honey, cocoa powder & water.
4) The first week is the hardest.
5) I feel a deep sense of self-worth, an appreciation of what I accomplished and of my closer relationship with the Lord.

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Honestly, I wasn't sure how I was going to do.  Giving up on things hasn't always been my best attribute. Yet for almost 40 days I have abstained from sugar.

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Do I plan to go back, yes and no.  Everyone preaches moderation and now on the other end of the fast I know I can bring that into the picture.  Before I was so accustomed and addicted to the idea of sweet treats that I consumed too much without thinking.  Yet now I weigh my food choices more intelligently.  I think before I eat and eat not out of want but of need.  Also, I've lost 12 pounds and this is the only change I made, this tells me how important I keep on top of the sweets.

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Tomorrow I'm going to break my fast...not sure with what but I will make it and keep my portion small.   I am excited but fretful too, for now I'll only allow a sweet treat once a week.

What about you?  Any sacrifices you've made give back double?  Something you'd like to give up?  Let's chat!

I Missed It!

Okay, so I totally had it in my mind that Endometriosis Awareness month was in April...but it's was in March!  I was so certain that it was April that I went back to March of '11 on my Facebook timeline only to discover how wrong I was...it is March and I missed it!  Dang!

Though I'm quite certain that all my friends with it will forgive me for missing out and since there truly isn't a bad month to promote awareness of any illness or lifelong condition I'm going to stick to my plan and bring awareness in April!

Now, I don't suffer from this condition however I have what seems to me to be and alarming number of friends that do.  To be completely honest I'm not sure why this disease strikes me with such compassion for the inflicted.  Perhaps it's because I have a great number of friends with it.  That it is incurable.  That many people still don't know about it.  Those are all good reasons, but I'm fairly certain the reason is that it afflicts only women, affects them every. single. day.  Just like any disease one has good days and bad days, but these women if they're lucky are Mommas caring for their babies day in and day out and sometimes while in extreme pain for multiple days.

That is what pulls at my heart.  I know how hard it is for me to care for my children while sick but I'm relatively healthy and sick days are few and far between...nothing on a consistent, sometimes monthly basis.

I really don't know a whole bunch about this illness but I do know how to help a hurting friend, how to comfort those in need and how to make life just a little easier for someone in distress.  So this month I've decided to make a quilt...yes, a quilt (see Shannon, you've convinced me).  I haven't decided what to do with it yet but I'm sure the Lord will direct my path in that regard.  Also, I'm going to make the conscious decision to sew mostly with yellow this month...I may even have to buy some fabric.  Yellow is the color associated with the awareness of this disease.

Also I'm going to be posting some ideas for helping our fellow Mommas out when they're sick and need help.  In addition I'll be doing my own research and sharing it with you all here.

Even if you don't know someone afflicted with this disease (which is highly unlikely as it is estimated that 89 million girls and women have this source 1 source 2) you probably do know someone afflicted with a long term illness that doesn't allow them to always enjoy the joys of life with kids...or even the pitfalls of parenting.  The tips I'll be sharing won't be new but will easily translate into caring for others facing long term illness.

Here's to a great week, may my dear friends suffering with this find hope and encouragement this month and may we all strive to see those hurting around us and do something to help.  




If you feel so inclined to do your own research here is a great starting point.

Truth is Hope

dietliend wolf via pinterest

I have something I just have to share with you all!  Last night as I was frantically catching up on my BSF lesson (follow the link for more information) I read this amazing verse that got me so excited I just can't hold it in.

For God did not destine us for wrath but for gaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:9

Now I've read the entire New Testament a few times and 1 Thessalonians is one of my favorites so this book isn't new to me but this verse is entirely what I NEEDED to read.  What I NEED to share.  You see in our culture my heart has been pounded by all the lies of Satan that he feeds to people saying that we are to hate those who sin.  I'm sure you've all seen the doomsday people yelling, have read their signs of hate and I am saddened to say that I've been at a loss as to what to say in response.  At a loss until last night.

With this verse I have not just the words to say by HIS WORD to say in response.  This has given me such hope, joy and peace.  That is what the truth does...it gives HOPE breathes life into the dying and offers encouragement to those in need.  When you know what TRUTH gives you can more easily see lies for what they are...hopelessness.

Now I'm spreading the truth to you and I hope you read this in full...YOU ARE NOT DESTINED for wrath, not because of what you've done but because of what CHRIST has done...you need only to accept the truth and reap the benefit of HOPE, LIFE & LOVE.

I promise to be back tomorrow with more crafting but with news as exciting as that I just couldn't keep it to myself.  Can you blame me?

Starting Out Small

more design please via Buffy on Pinterest

One should not be nearly as excited about setting goals as I am.  However, it is true.  It surprises me how analytical I can be especially since I'm am very much a right-brained, creative person...though I imagine a large part of my analytical thinking comes from being married to Mr. Left-Brained for almost 10 years (more on that later).  Still, I've always loved lists and crossing off the stuff on my list so maybe it's always been there just under the surface.

Today I'm going to share the small goals that I have, most of these are just for the month of January and many are just specific goals to achieve a lot of those things that I say to myself all the time.  For instance I'm often wishing that I would drink more water or that I read the Bible more or that I was nicer to the kids.  These little wishes can become reality with a little planning and a plan of attack!

Monday I sat down and wrote out all the areas in my life I'd like to improve on, areas I wanted to grow in the new year.  Spiritual, Marriage, Parenting, Knitting, Music, Health, Writing, Giving, Sewing and Organization...that may seem like a lot of areas, but not all of them will get a big goal...in fact only 3 of those areas will take 6 months or more to achieve my goal.  The others are areas that I can make small monthly goals.

Perhaps in February I'll decide that some of those areas can wait another month, or severely step back from the amount of time I put into it.  Yet, I talked these small goals over with my Love and he agreed that they are completely doable...provided that I give some stuff up.  Yes, I may not get to watch as much television as I have, or I may have to wake up earlier to get it done but that is part of the growth.  Determining what is important to you and making the decision to change and giving up on something for something that you value more.

For my Spiritual Goal I plan to read the entire Bible in a Year.  I will achieve this by reading a little bit everyday.  I have an app on my phone YouVersion that has reading plans, including a Chronological Bible in a Year.  I will also read it in The Message as it is a much more fluid version and it will be more likely that I will continue with the reading.

j.t. lowery via Buffy on Pinterest

My Health Goal in January is to drink at least 5-8 oz glasses of water a day, everyday.

west elm via Buffy on Pinterest

My Knitting Goal is to knit my husband a sweater.

interweave knits via ravelry via Buffy on Pinterest

Husband and I have a goal for our marriage to institute a date night at least once a month.

Sara via Buffy on Pinterest

For Music I am going to push myself to practice my violin for 20 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

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For Writing, I want to spend 10 minutes writing, 3 days a week.

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For Parenting, I want to compliment each of my children at least 3 times a day, everyday.

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Additionally I want to blog at least 3 times a week.

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Now of course I have more goals, those are a bit larger.  These are the small ones.  I'll be keeping track of my progress on goal for it!  This is a really cool website that not only helps you build your goals but will send out reminders to you when you want them.  I put my health, Bible reading, music, writing, blogging and parenting goal on a chore chart.  I can print off the chart and manually track my progress and I can update it online.

we heart it via Buffy on Pinterest

I have determined that if I complete my goals at least 70% of the time I will reward myself with $ for Starbucks.  Obviously, I want to achieve my goals 100% however, I know that with 5 kids life can turn crazy in an instant and that I don't want to deter myself in future goals if I miss a day.  Though I will get more money for coffee the better I achieve my goal.


So now that you've had a little bit to think do you have any goals for the new year?  Are you looking for a Friend to help you reach your goals?  Comment below and let's work together and realize the best year is still in the future!

Holiday Giving

The holidays are more than just giving gifts to friends and family, it is about remembering the gift Christ gave to us by humbling himself to be born as a tiny baby, living a life prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for all mankind.  Thinking about the sacrifice of the gift Christ gave I want to give back to Him out of gratitude and love so we usually support a Tree of Giving each year.

Our church family has a Tree of Giving that helps local Foster care kids have a Merry Christmas.  I won't lie, things are really tight at our house and we're working really hard to curb spending and such, however that doesn't mean we don't have something to give to someone else.  Just a look to my cupboards overflowing with fabric and you know that is true.  I have something to give, my time, my talents, and a little of my stash.

I picked a tag for a little girl of 5 months who needed hats, mittens and socks and wanted a soft blanket.  Well that was a simple enough request...especially for a knitter.  It was a sacrifice of my time and a little sanity because well this needed to be done by a deadline and I have Christmas knitting to do, however it was worth it.  I know that I can't out give God...not by a long shot.  That by submitting to His command to give to others I am trusting on Faith that I will have more than enough time to finish the stuff I want to get done.

Also, before I show the pics I want to make sure you all know that I did not do this for praise of man but to give praise to God for what He has blessed us.  For everything I made I had the stuff already, of the stash I have over half of it has been given to me...so out of my blessings I shared a blessing.  I hope to inspire and remind you that the best way to make Christmas bright for you again is to stop looking at the list of things you have left to do and to look to those who are left for you to do for...

Now onto the pics...

Many Holiday Blessings to you all!

{{hugs}}

Buffy

Laughter for the Weekend

source via pinmarket via google

This morning Thaddeus woke up early but honestly it wasn't a bad thing as he was super happy and laughed at everything we had a riotous game of peek-a-boo

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Husband, Thaddeus and I were laughing so hard we were nearly crying it was awesome!

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I thought about how great it is to laugh and that I still hadn't posted for today yet and that made me think I should brighten your day just like my baby brightened mine.

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Friday for many means the beginning of the weekend once work is over, but I know how weekends can sometimes be just as stressful as the workweek.  

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So here's to a weekend full of friends...

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Pumpkin pie (especially if you're Canadian)...

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and of course coffee...

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I hope you all have a delightful weekend!  To my Canadian friends Happy Thanksgiving have an extra slice of pumpkin pie just for me (I like mine with extra whip cream).

{{hugs}}

Buffy

So is the weekend worth the wait or are you like me wanting to get back on schedule?  I'm hoping to get some Christmas sewing done this weekend so wish me luck and tell me what are your plans this weekend.  I'd love to chat with you all today :)

Vinny Turned FIVE!!!!!

Yesterday was Vincent's birthday.  I can hardly believe that my baby is five!  Seriously where did the time go?  Vinny is my middle baby and  a miracle child too.  You see when he was 2 weeks old (exactly) he was admitted to the hospital with a high fever almost 104 degrees Fahrenheit and after a urine test, blood draw and spinal tap we learned he had septis or as the nice dr's explained to me he had become sick on his own waste.  By the time we got to the hospital the infection had spread to his blood and we spent the next four days in peds getting IV antibiotics that had to be given every 8 hours...precisely...over an entire hour.

They discharged us with a pic line that went from his ankle to his heart and Husband and I had to administer IV antibiotics for him for 14 days.  The poor thing was so sick, his immune system compromised that he developed thrush, a series of ear infections and then at 6 weeks he scared us again with a high fever and back to the ER we went.  Fortunately he had only developed an viral upper respiratory infection so no more drugs that time, but they watched him for a day and sent us home.

I wish I could say that this was the worst part but it was only the beginning.  My 8 pound 12 ounce boy wasn't even 9.5 pounds at 2 months.  Soon it became obvious that something was wrong.  By four months of age we were going into the dr's office for weight checks every week.  We were feeding him 40+ ounce of formula a day and no. weight. gain.  It was horrible.

He was constantly sick.  Totally lethargic sleeping 14-18 hours a day.  Diarrhea in every. single. diaper.  People accused us of starving him.  People were afraid that we were making him sick.  I was watching my baby slowly slip lower and lower on the growth chart.  If he got a cold in the morning I could see he lost weight by lunchtime.  He had no fat, no reserves and was one sick baby.  A sick baby that only I, Husband and the Doctor knew about.

Up until Vincent was born I always wondered what I would do if my child got sick and it seemed like nothing was working.  Would I just stand by and let the medical doctors do their practice thing or would I fight?  Would I try anything?  What would my child's illness stir within me?  I knew in my heart of heart's despite crippling blows to my ego as a 'good' mother that I was a WONDERFUL momma and the momma God designed for Vincent.  I knew he was sick, Husband knew he was sick, the Dr knew something was wrong.  So we fought.

At six months I went into one of our weight check appointments and just told the Dr it was time for reinforcements.  We needed specialists.  I left with two referrals one to the cardiologist and one to the Feeding and Growth Clinic.  The first appointment was with the cardiologist which was total bust, well not completely we were able to rule out heart problems so that was good.  So onto the Feeding and Growth clinic.

I went into the appointment uncertain.  I had heard both good and bad reviews from people, but they were my last hope.  I saw a speech therapist and then a dietitian and after explaining Vinny's  medical history...lack of growth, continual illness and my unwavering conviction that something was wrong with my son the dietitian whom I swear was an angel looked right at me and said "We want to admit him to the hospital."  I'm not a crying person so I didn't burst into tears but I wanted to hug her.

The dietitian went on to explain that he wasn't at death's door but that they were admitting him as a Failure to Thrive patient.  She kindly explained that this was in no way a reflection on me as a parent because I was being a great mom by seeking help for my child, for fighting for him.  They had lots of tests they needed to run and while I could do it outpatient it would take months to get everything coordinated.

We spent a week in the hospital.  We saw every specialist you could think of and therapists too.  He was poked, prodded and scanned.  The hardest test by far was the one for Cystic Fibrosis...not because it was a difficult test but because I knew what the prognosis was...incurable.  We finally left with the diagnosis of Mild Malabsorption and he was put on a new formula that was 'partially digested' really it means that they had separated the proteins and enzymes and whatnot so that it was absorbed into the bloodstream from the stomach and not just the small & large intestine.  He gained weight and we left cautiously optimistic.

We had a decent summer.  He was growing s-l-o-w-l-y.  Then just before September we hit a bump...Vinny lost weight.  The dr called Vinny's Gastrointerologist aka gut doctor.  We saw our doc Friday morning and I got a call from the gut doctor's office that afternoon for an appointment on Monday!  That is crazy fast scheduling, not sure what our doc said, not sure I want to know, but I'm so glad he did.

We had a short consult, scheduled an Upper GI biopsy to check for Celiac Disease.  The doctor wasn't super encouraging but at least he was willing to do more tests.

Just before his first birthday I went into to find out the results of the biopsy and Praise the Lord he had Celiac!  Now it might sound cruel to be thankful your child has a disease but when you're fearful of cancer, Crohn's or other incurable illness.  Celiac isn't curable now but it is managed by a gluten free diet...a diet change that saves your life is better than cancer and infinitely better than not knowing.  Honestly, if the doctor said nothing was wrong I wasn't sure how I was going to continue to go grocery shopping.  Sooner or later somebody was going to call CPS on us.  An answer is what we needed.

Life is infinitely better with this crazy boy, and if it's okay to admit it I think 5 is the best age for boys.  They're still young enough to think you'r the best but big enough to take care of basic needs.  I can't imagine my life without him and I'm so fortunate to live in an age where a  Momma can fight for her baby's health and find out the problem.

So happy birthday my little man with a big heart!  Momma loves you with all of hers!

{{hugs}}
Buffy